If you’re the perfect teacher for EVERY student that walks through your door, you’re doing it wrong.
When a student chooses to withdraw or not even sign up with me, things run through my head like:
What did I do wrong?
What should I have done differently?
If only I hadn't done XYZ...
I am not even close to being the perfect teacher I want to be.
And so the spiral starts.
I was listening to the VMT podcast by Nicola Cantan, specifically the episode released on April 9th on beating perfectionism (why are musicians SO prone to this??) and something that was said at the very end hit home for me—
We Aren’t Going to be the Perfect Teacher for Every Student.
I know in my head this made sense, but how many times have I let my ego be affected by a student withdrawing or even choosing not to sign up with me?
It’s hard sometimes to just let it roll off your shoulders.
Things run through my head like what did I do wrong? How could I have done better? What should I have changed? If only I hadn’t XYZ…And so the spiral starts.
Don't get me wrong--I do feel that a healthy self-reflection can be really beneficial to our growth.
But What if we Suffer from Perfect Teacher Syndrome?
This came up for me when my studio was in the thick of spring exam season this year.
In my area, I am new and do things differently than some of the local piano teachers.
Their students are well-accomplished in classical repertoire, practice hours per day, score highly, and progress quickly.
I personally try my best to prioritize the experience and mindset that my students have with music, but sometimes this does affect the physical manifestations of their progress (i.e. scores on exams, how quickly they pass through their method books).
I know my students may not be the ones winning awards.
This can make it easy to feel like…the outsider and less of a teacher.
An Important Reminder: I'm not in the Business of being the Perfect Teacher
And the reasons why I chose this career may be different than the reasons that other teachers chose theirs, and that’s OK.
What I was seeing as my “weakness” as a teacher, was actually my superpower strength (as talked about on Jenna Kutcher’s podcast Goal Digger).
My teaching superpower was helping my students have a positive and enriching experience with music. An experience they could walk away from with fond memories, instead of remembering they hated it or were forced to do it.
And this is what I explain to prospective piano families now: this is what I bring to the table when a student signs up for lessons with me, and it may not be the right fit for your child. And that’s OK. But if it fits with your expectations, then I will deliver.
We teach because we want to meet students where they’re at, and if we can’t fulfill their needs or specific aspirations, we should want them to seek teachers who can so they can succeed in that area.
So don’t try to be the perfect fit for every student that walks through your door. Be the teacher YOU want to be, and the right students will find you. If you find yourself struggling generally with overall student retention, check out my other articles: Keeping Students & My BIGGEST Retention Secret.
As always, stay tuned!
(pun unapologetically intended)
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